Nate Pyle serves as Lead Pastor at Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana. Nate has written, “As I follow Jesus, I have found that I need to unlearn how to live in the world in order to learn a new way of living. The way Jesus lived.” He shares his thoughts on this new way of living through his blog and his new book “Man Enough.” Thank you for listening to this conversation with Nate. [Read more…]
Recently I led a men’s retreat. I was asked to speak on the topic of authentic manhood. Throughout the weekend, I told my own story vulnerably and authentically. I talked about the intersection of my story with my understanding of the God story. Then I asked the men to allow my story to empower them to tell their stories in the same manner – vulnerably and authentically.
During a break in the weekend one of the participants walked up to me and said, “Could I tell you my story?”
I said, “Sure.” And we sat down to talk.
With uncommon courage and clarity, he said, “When I was eight years old my father baptized me. He raised his hand to the sky and spoke a word of blessing over me. With the same hand, my father molested me over and over during my childhood.” [Read more…]
Breakfast was scheduled several weeks before I started this blog series on shame. Almost immediately as we were seated, he said, “I’m enjoying your series on shame. I’m in Faithwalking 201 and just this week I’ve done the homework on learning about my shame voice.”
Then he told me this story. [Read more…]
I remember my conversations with Tim and the shame I felt when I named the sense of being weak and powerless. I used to refer to it as the “E” word because it felt shameful to say it out loud. I had been “E”masculated as a child and at first, talking about my shame felt like admitting that I was not man enough. Enough for what? Enough to get my dad’s approval? Enough to fit into the masculine cultural stereotype? Enough to develop an intimate relationship with a woman? I’m was not totally sure, but the sense that I was not enough was only exacerbated by naming my emasculation.
With encouragement from my coach I began to tell my shame story. . . at first to Betty and a few trusted friends and then to a growing circle. While I had a growing set of experiences that conveyed that I would not be judged, the old memories and the accompanying shame voice still controlled me. [Read more…]