I’m doing a series of podcasts with Trisha Taylor on men and women working together. I believe that many of us have a way of thinking about relationships between men and women that is a systemic cause for so many of the challenges we face, and I’m standing for a different way.
Today I’ve been re-reading some of Anne Wilson Schaef’s work. She is the author of several books including, The Addictive Organization: Why We Overwork, Cover Up, Pick Up the Pieces, Please the Boss, and Perpetuate Sick Organizations. Her research suggests that the overwhelming majority of men (and many women as well) in our society are addicted to a way of thinking, feeling and acting that systemically entraps them without their realizing it, in much the same way that alcohol, nicotine or other drug addictions subtly but securely ensnare their victims.
Schaef suggests that those who hold this view of the world are imprisoned in this way of thinking and their jail cell has four walls, each one representing a myth, or overarching beliefs that define the mental map through which they navigate their lives.
Four Myths that Systemically Entrap Us
Myth 1:
The white male system is the only one there is. It’s the game of power, status and wealth – whether in the boardroom, the stock market, or the playing field, this is what is real and everything else gets defined and judged by it.
Myth 2:
The white male system is innately superior. While other people have other ways of thinking, those ways are quaint, amusing or at worst wrong and dangerous. That is a part of why it’s almost impossible to have a dialogue about race or white privilege or immigration or international politics.
Myth 3:
The white male system knows and understands everything. Those who live in this system know what is best for everyone. They know what God wants and how God wants people to live. Therefore, we don’t need other voices – voices that hold a different view of the world – in the places where we are making decisions, setting policies, or determining direction.
Myth 4:
It is possible for us to be totally logical, rational and objective. Everything that is worth knowing is objectifiable and quantifiable. Feelings, hopes, ideals, rights and other intangibles only count when they can be quantified and measured.
I believe that Shaef describes the reality of western culture well. Author Lisa Delpit, Distinguished Professor at Southern University in Baton Rouge calls this view of the world the culture of power. I first read her work over a decade ago and it contributed significantly to my changing view of the world.
I’ve been pondering how to be free of that system. In his book Insurrection: To Believe is Human, To Doubt Divine, author Peter Rollins suggests three ways to respond to what Shaef calls systemic addiction and/or what Delpit calls the culture of power.
He cites Ephesians 6:12 – for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm – and then he writes: “It is this direct attack against prevailing structures, such as ineffective school systems or unjust legal structures, that can facilitate real change in society.” And then he notes three ways that people generally respond in trying to bring change.
Three Ways to Bring Change as a Response to a Systemic Addiction to a Culture of Power
Token Gestures
Token gestures are small acts that do some immediate good but mask how the rest of one’s life runs counter to the insurrection that the gesture seeks to engage. It makes us look good and feel good, but it actually contributes to the system staying in place.
Perverse Protest
A perverse protest is one that plays into the unjust system’s need for conflict. This kind of protest acknowledges that the leaders of the unjust system are in fact in control. They make the rules, and we play by them – even when we protest. They define reality! When we engage in perverse protest, we are playing within the power structures that maintain the authority and the worldview of those in control. He writes: “By providing a system of insipid worship services and prayer meetings, we form spaces that enable people to think that they are a part of a resistance group (talking about it and singing about it) while simultaneously feeding the system they say they oppose.”
The Third Way
To make this clear I’m going to quote Rollins exactly and extensively.
In contrast to token gestures and perverse protests, there is a different way: the way of Resurrection life. This is a way of living that is able to short-circuit the present social, spiritual, or political order, something that we witness at a political level in the life of Mother Theresa, who no more protested against the caste system in Calcutta than she affirmed it. She simply lived in a different reality. She lived as though it did not exist, helping all who came to her regardless of their social class. This act of living the not-yet state of equality as if it already existed in the now is the truly political act, an act that directly confronts unjust systems by ignoring them and living into a different reality.
“The third way is a way of living in small communities located within the dominant one and yet not defined by it. Imagine small communities of people who live counter to the dominant culture of fear and self-centeredness. Imagine small communities of people who see a place of exclusion or marginalization or oppression who simply began to relate to those who are excluded or marginalized or oppressed in radically different ways. Imagine deep personal friendships with the poor, the marginalized or the oppressed. Imagine what God would do in your heart and life as a result of those deep personal friendships.
I read those words of Rollins and I think of how Jesus related to women. In his world, women were viewed as property and treated thusly. I don’t find any record of Jesus protesting this system. He simply lived as if it didn’t exist. He related privately and publicly to women in a radically and at times dangerously counter-cultural way.
In fact, one way that I read the life of Jesus – perhaps the most important way – is to see the culture of power in his world and to follow his way of relating to it. His way is summarized in Matthew 20:25-26 – “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Some days – maybe many days – I can see the world that Anne, Lisa and Peter write about. I’m working to live in what Rollins calls the Third Way. It’s extremely challenging. As a white man who is deeply immersed in this system with all its rights and privileges, I find that sometimes I can’t even see it. Fortunately, I’m surrounded by several communities of people with whom I am standing. That makes the journey easier.